Introduction
Sometimes we struggle immensely in life over why we are not
loved by people in general, and above all by people who are ‘meant’ to love us,
such as partners, spouses, children, family and friends. Truly we can really
suffer, from bouts of disappointment like depression to bouts of intense anger
and ill-will. You know what the solution or the way to get out of such a
terrible rut is to love, forget about receiving love and give love. This post
explains way this is the best option all of the time.
Receiving Love
Receiving love can be really great but not so great when it
stops or drops in frequency, intensity, duration and quality. We often start to
think that something is wrong and that the person does not love us anymore or
that we have done something for the person to not love us or that we are not
good enough which is one of the worst emotions we can feel.
The Art of Receiving Love
There is a way to receive love from others and we have to
know it. We have to teach ourselves actually how to receive and give love.
However, because this section is about receiving love, we need to find a way to
receive love that does not lead to pain later on, and curiously when we start
to feel pain we start to give pain out.
The way to receive love is to receive it with an open mind
and heart and with gratitude but never becoming dependent on it. Never to start
to see that we only exist or we are only valid when we receive love from
others. If the perception of ourselves or our self-valuation or self-worth is
based on or is referenced to or is relative to the amount, quality, duration
and intensity of love received then we are really going to suffer. Why you may
ask, well the answer is simple. It is because we can not control the love
others give us (we try though but that does not really work for us) and so
there will always be times when we don’t receive love and or we receive less
love than before and therefore we will feel pain, of course if we still think
and feel in the same old way that receiving love is the only reason for our
existence.
Only Receiving Brings Suffering
We suffer because we are very one sided we only want to
receive and maybe the reason why we are not receiving any love is due to karma,
that is we have not given out love. Karma manifesting as the pain we feel, it is
there to teach us, that is to teach us that we need to love too.
Controlling Love
Basically the only way you can control the amount of love
you receive is to give lots of love yourself. We can always control how much
love we give, but to control how much others give us is not good at all. It
always leads us into trouble. We actually end up ruining that which we love and
want love from. You know sometimes when something is in our heart we can not
stop loving it, put whatever you want to love in your heart, that is a key that
never fails. Once something is in your heart you will never stop loving it.
Giving Love
When we are unhappy, disappointed and we are not receiving
love, we actually in our mind go against the other person and we don’t think
very highly of them at all. We are disliking them actually, just observe that
the next time you feel that you are not receiving love. We become less
generous, less, friendly and less open and good willed toward them. We are not
loving them in our mind and heart and how can we expect them realistically
speaking to love us back or to love us more when we are not loving them. That
is crazy but we actually do think and feel that way. But if we are to give love
we will get it back and if you open your mind and heart others will be like
that towards us too.
The Solution
The solution is to give love and if you do it you will see
how magically things change and turn around. Basically stop being demanding and
give love, we when we do that feel much better, because we are giving love and
we are polarising ourselves with love and so we feel love and when we feel love
we are in love and giving, receiving all melt in together into the one state of
love.
A limit
Of course though there is a limit and there it is if the
person does not love you back and mistreats and disrespects the honest love that
you give them, then we need to drop our love back a notch or two. That is easy
to do if we are not dependent on the other person. That is why so many people
stay with partners that are abusive, because they are dependent on them and as
soon as that dependence finishes or abates the one getting abused feels free to
leave.
You know we can only really love consciously when we are not
attached or dependent. We have to discern when this limit or line has been
crossed, but don’t worry we will know it naturally, almost instinctively in
fact.
Conclusion
The main key here is to take away any ill-will in your mind
and heart and open up your mind and heart to the person and give love. Depart
from yourself, stop being worried about how much love you are receiving and
give love instead, and by the law of cause and effect you will receive it. Just
wanting and waiting to receive love will not bring it to you! You must also
understand that another person’s love does not make you complete, you are
already complete, because even if that person does not love you nothing in you
stops working, your life goes on, your heart still beats and you still have
your inner divinity within you loving you and sending you its life force.
End (223).
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