Seeing each other as a person is a degree of materialism...Seeing each other as a soul with a Monad is lifts off from that subtle layer of materialism.
In general materialism is all about 'having'. Not about 'being'.
We have a wife or a husband etc. We have a person in our lives. We have someone's attention. We have someone's love. We have someone's care. We have a relationship. We have needs. We have plans... etc.
We even say that we have a body, but do we really have a body? Our inner Being manifests in the physical world through our essence and our essence uses a physical body to do that. But after a while the body dies. So do we really have a body?
This post is about the psychological feeling of 'having' in relation to another person. There is always the conflict between 'having' and 'being'. Instead of 'having' the way is 'to be'. To 'be', both people in the relationship must 'be' a soul and see each other as a soul. Because 'to have' is the materialistic way of thinking.
To be what? To be the values. To be the values means to give! Not to demand.
When you are a person to me, it is so natural and logical from that way of seeing and thinking - to want your presence, your attention, your love etc. And when we don't receive that we fully feel it justified to demand it. Because materialsim works that way. I have rights and needs and I have the right to ask for them to be fulfilled. Because how can something I have be far away from me, not be useful to me, not be of value to me etc.? My car is always with me, it is useful to me, it always serves me and is of value to me - all because I have a car. With the emphasis being on 'having' a car.
The above logic is how supply and demand works, customer consumerism, goods and services, employers and employees etc. If I buy a product, and it does not work I have the right to demand from the company who sold it to make it work for me.
The key to spiritualise a relationship is to see the other person as a soul and have total respect for that. Because we can never trap a soul, a soul is free, a soul has free will and we all respect that. A soul is the one that loves and love always comes back or returns to what it loves. Personalities just don't love. Neither do egos.
End (4424).
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