Appearances in human psychology is about speaking and acting in a way to produce the impression in others that things are better than they really are, or that things are ok when they are not.
We do this for many reasons. Some to not worry and disappoint others unnecessarily and some for purely egotistical reasons.
In any case the truth is always the best thing even if it hurts and causes worry. Time always shows through any appearance that we try keep.
It is actually in the end a much more costly and difficult work to keep an appearance than fix the gap between the appearance and reality or simply drop the appearance. It is even so much hard work to later undo the appearance.
Appearances can lead to developing a second life which is more sufferings as well.
To not worry others is only really valid when we know we can fix things and on purpose we keep things simple with others while giving ourselves time to sort things out and align the appearance with the truth.
Purely egotistical reasons are of pride and fear. When we can't quite deal with people seeing that we are not doing well when perhaps there is the expectation that we should be doing well and there is no excuse to not be doing well. Or when we can't deal with the consequences of people being disappointed.
In all the cases work on ourselves is the answer. Specifically it is the work of accepting reality and when we accept the reality we won't keep an appearance to ourselves and therefore not to others as well.
The only block really to accepting reality is that it is disappointing...
End (4519).
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