When Background Hurt Responds in Relationships

When Background Hurt Responds in Relationships - (2774)

When there is a lot of hurtful feelings being felt in a relationship, it is because without doubt, within the person who feels hurt and offended, there is a wide and deep background of hurt.

What happens so often, is that the things the other person says or does trigger that background hurt. The things that they say or do may not be something that we would usually feel hurt about but because we have this background hurt related to that person, any small thing hurts and comes out of us rather intensely.

The things that make up this background hurt are things that happened in the past and we felt were unfair, and that hurtful unfair feeling is still open and very present in us. It is actually even more alive than a memory. Examples of this could be things where perhaps our sentimentality was not considered or respected etc. as we were hoping it would be, or we were loved then dropped hard, or we were not respected or we were unfairly rejected or humiliated.

In conclusion, we answer with the intensely painful past that is an over the top reaction to the things that happen now. The things that happen now are not anywhere near as bad as the past but we answer as if they almost were.

When we reflect, we have no other thing to do, but to face that past and work it and work it, transforming that background into comprehension, love, pardon, forgiveness etc. Then we can enjoy a certain level of inner peace!

End (2774).

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