It's difficult to love a human being. That is, to love a real human being, not our concept or our fantasy of how a human being should be, but as a human being really is...
As ugly and defective as they are...and as ugly and defective as we are also.
We rarely love the real human being. We love the way we think or wish they should be. Of course they never are that way, and so we are always falling out of love, because we are not loving the other person we are only loving ourselves...
We love the way we want them to be in certain circumstances.
Realer love starts in accepting the real human being as they are. Many years can pass in distraction until we are faced to accept or not accept a person's reality.
Isn't it better to love a reality, so that we can make love real? To love our fantasy of a person is to love the unreal and consequently it is not to love. To not love and to pretend to love instead, brings hundreds upon hundreds of variations of sufferings great and small...
That's the question, to one day, depart from ourselves and love a reality as ugly as defective as we find it.
When we know our reality as defective and ugly as it is, we can then love a reality. While we are dreaming about our own reality, we persist in loving a fantasy, and suffering appears and appears begging us to wake up...
Women who 'love' a man because he is tall may not love the man. Men who love women because of their shapely figure may not love the woman.
The realer person is the inner person. The outer man or woman as Gnosis says obeys the inner man or woman. The inner is the real.
Women may falsely believe security, protection and reliability comes from a man's height. While men may falsely believe nurturing, softness and generosity comes from a woman's breasts.
Loving a man's height and a woman's breasts is another way of assuring our insecurities due to our own lack of trust in our Being.
With trust in our Being we can then surpass our smaller selves ("I's") to love the real which is the inner in each person.
End (5096).
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