A concrete way of doing this while avoiding falling into new age romanticism, that can feel 'fake', is to observe carefully the negativity of the ego and give to ourselves exactly the opposite of the negativity.
The ego then becomes the reference point.
This is in fact to do the opposite of the ego within ourselves.
Also as it is essentially the ego that is bothering us with its negative inner talk, giving ourselves the opposite of what the ego is giving us, is really what we need.
There is little point in giving ourselves things that we don't quite need, and that is often why we have the feeling: "that is good but not quite it, almost but not quite what we need".
Through observation of the ego we have the all the keys we need to give accurately and appropriately to ourselves.
For example, before we get angry we give to ourselves a lot of poison. The opposite is to give to ourselves sweetness and true values of psychological nourishment.
Then we get angry at the other person for making us feel awful, defective, wrong, dishonest, out of touch etc. etc.
When we are angry we have some aggression towards ourselves. There is some frustration or non-acceptance towards ourselves. So to give to ourselves consciously in the moments of anger would be to give ourselves: patience, acceptance, flexibility hope and promise of improvement.
End (6022).
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