Introduction
That feeling of being inherently flawed or 'not good enough' or 'unworthy' comes from, I very resepctfully say, from a lack of self-forgiveness. I mean not the cheap kind that you'll find in modern spiritual self-help healing workshops but the real kind that has to do with awakening and addressing the cause of certain errors, which takes its time. This may not seem quite right but reflect a little maybe it is true for you...
I very respectfully say those feelings mentioned above come from having done something that we now regret and lament. The regret then causes us to turn on ourselves, judging and attacking ourselves in many different ways...
This post is just some notes for when we find that attribute which we could call self-forgiveness, difficult to invoke.
We may not like forgiving ourselves. We may think it is wrong. We may think that we will keep causing harm if we forgive ourselves. We may think we don't deserve it. We don't know how to forgive ourselves. We may think it is nonsense even. This is all beacsue we havn't got a real picture about what self-forgiveness is. There is something real in it, there is real work in it and awakening/healing in it. To awaken is to heal.
A Start Somewhere
Often we can be inwardly at war against ourselves, going against ourselves quite often until the day we forgive ourselves. We did something and we suffered because of that but and that is gone yet we keep hitting ourselves becasue we havn't really forgiven ourselves.
I repeat forgiving oursleves is about work. It is to accept that we did it and to take responsibility for that and work on the cause.
In the worst cases what happens with that war against ourselves is that the regret or hurt wins over us. Just quietly you know this can’t be we can’t be a slave of pain but instead in our Being we are to be over pain.
Once again in the worst of cases the most difficult thing about that war on ourselves is that it’s not only in the mind but we feel the regret or pain intensely in our body, at times in our stomach, and heart, even the body as a whole.
Behind what we did in the past there was some kind of unmet need. That was there like a pain behind what we did. If we can find that pain, then we can start with transforming and forgiving ourselves. Because it was that we were in pain that we acted that way.
With regards to resentment, it is useful to see what will happen if we stop believing or thinking I or someone else was wrong? What is the worst thing that could happen to us? Nothing really bad will happen to us will it? Only joy in our heart is what will happen…
It is easier to be unforgiving than face our hurt or regret fully. Vengance is what we take refuge in instead of forgiving. Vengance against others or ourselves.
We can't know joy because we can't forgive...
To forgive is to open, heal and free our hearts...
Forgiving is dynamic and means we are not willing to separate ourselves or someone from our heart. We can't forgive if we take people or ourselves out of our heart all the time...
The thing with self-forgiveness is it is not instant, takes time and has like we could say its price. The price is a new love that washes away the old ways that caused the errors we regret. It is also deep acceptance and a decision to transform the cause. As the cause becomes more and more modified self-forgiveness grows and we heal more and more.
When we have Self-Forgiveness
When we forgive ourselves we act in much healthier ways and we reach out to genuinely help others. These two things happen together and make up the process of forgiving ourselves. This is honestly what people do when they forgive themselves, they help others.
When are in the process of forgiving ourselves we can't ignore our inner Being and the Divine Law. That we say sorry to our Inner Being and the Divine Law and ask for forgiveness and work to dissolve the cause.
When we have self-forgiveness and we do something harmful to ourselves or others, what we do is, we just go to work on the cause. We know how to work and what to do and we go about it quickly without delay and we do it with intensity.
End (4168).
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