When a person is vindictive they are really saying look how much you hurt me. The more vindictive, the more they were hurt. They are trying to inflict what was inflicted upon them.
However, vindictiveness appears aggressive and not at all like they are saying: "look how much I am hurt".
Because of that we react with like aggression and things quickly get worse.
In this case like nearly every other case, aggression is not the way to deal with vindictiveness.
Addressing what has been hurt is the closer to the right way or is the right tool. Aggression is the wrong tool.
We have to have lots of self-control to read the strange yet very overlooked message of vindictiveness.
End (5651).
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