Monday, 21 July 2014

When Our Ego of Self-Esteem is Hurt by Those we Love (166)

Introduction

I’m not sure if this is the correct name for this ego that in the following paragraphs I am going to describe. The aim of this article is to describe this ego and to prise it apart so to provide ourselves with an in-depth understanding of it that will produce in us separation from it. Being able to separate from it means we have broken its hypnosis.


A Curious Observation

The first observation of this ego is that the same impressions received from someone don’t hurt whereas the impressions received from someone else really hurt and bother us, where these impressions that hurt are essentially being words, gestures and tone of voice. Therefore this ego is relative to certain people.


Dependant on Others…

In our mind we have put a lot of emphasis on these people. It has happened that we have made the way we think about ourselves relative or dependent upon the way these people think or feel about us. If they think ill of us we can not be at peace. We become very restless and eager to correct the way they think about us. In the relationship with these people we make great efforts to make sure these people think and feel positively about us. We wish that they treasure us and hold us in high esteem. We often fantasize about that thinking about how much we are important to them, how much they like and depend upon our help and presence. All the time it may be that we are the ones that depend upon them. They are usually the ones that can be very honest with us and we are not because we are scared to be honest because it will destroy the image that they have of us and then they will think negatively about us.

Even working on this we feel that we are going not to be so close to them or that something bad will happen in the relationship like a break up or something like that. Even we may be working on this to protect ourselves in the case that there is a break up and that we will not suffer so much.


Waking Up in the Morning Feeling Awful?

If there is some sort of an argument or we form in our mind the thought that they are not happy with us we wake up in the morning feeling very uncomfortable and nervous. It is like whatever we are in not valid, we have thoughts that in a sorry for ourselves way, in a kind of self-destructive way start to destroy things around us thinking that they are not good or not really first class as we usually think we think that they are all useless. In other words we project our negativity onto ourselves, and others and things around us that are dear to us. All this comes from the fact that we now see ourselves negatively just like we suppose the other person sees us. Everything else seems second rate or lesser importance, the love that comes from others that is not that person is not important or is second rate.

If those people are Gnostic people that we are dependent upon we think that everything else is second rate or not important because we have made Gnosis to be the most important thing in our mind above everything else. But we have to understand that the love that comes from others is the same love that comes from those who are in Gnosis. It is the same essence the same Being loving.


Ending Statement – the Other Person is NOT Everything

There is a lot of Pride in this internal state that causes us so much grief. The love of the other person seems so important that it seems to be everything. This is a good time to question that, is that true? Obviously not we have the Being! That is what is more important to us than anything else. If we did not have the Being we would not be, but if we did not have the other person we would of course still be, we would still be alive. What we have done is make the tremendous mistake of substituting another person for our own Being!


End (166).

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