A Prayer to the Divine Mother About the Ego (255)

Express Your Worries to the Divine Mother

My Divine Mother Kundalini, I am worried about this ego that I have. I have gone with it, identified with it and have wanted what it is has been conditioned to give. I wanted what it could give me and in the way it was going to get it.

When I came close to getting it, I realised that I didn’t want it! I felt nervous and scared. It was not going to be pleasant as I believed it would be. I felt that I could not do without it, that what you my Divine Mother could give me or that which my own consciousness could give me would not satisfy me.

I am Confused – Illuminate Me My Divine Mother

I am scared that it will come back again. I have to work to not allow it to come back. To work hard to learn to get that deep satisfaction which is beyond that of this ego wants. What satisfaction does this ego give me in the end anyway?

Help me to comprehend, I am confused maybe I do not need this satisfaction, maybe with the death of this ego, the issue of this satisfaction will all disappear. Maybe that is where I am wrong maybe I don’t need this at all even in a superior way. Is that true? Illuminate me my Divine Mother, please illuminate me!

This Ego Can’t Continue

I know I can not do this again. I can not be identifying with this ego while I am on the path. It can not be, I can not come to be able to walk the path still falling into identification with this ego.

It has to be stopped sometime, why not now. If I stop it now I break the cycle. If I don’t stop it now I will have to start from zero again.

What this Ego Wants

This ego only wants a feeling made real. It wants me to feel a certain way, emotions become our reality so it wants our reality to match our emotion. It wants to feel uplifted, special in myself, however the end result is that it is always produces a down fall. Pain is its end result.

My Divine Mother I am well now, but the pendulum will swing, help me to not be moved by the pendulum, not to allow myself to go with that ego again.

Conclusion

Help my comprehension to go deep enough so to be strong enough to not identify with that ego. May I change and may I die.

End (255).