Anxiety Due to Criticism (181)

Introduction

One of the reasons behind the anxiety we feel when dealing with others is our tendency to take things in an overall manner. I’ll explain.

Our problem is that we have a tendency to make identities of ourselves in our minds and then we believe in that identity and assume it to be our real or true identity.

Now lets get more down to real life.

Anxious About Criticism

When we identify with the words of others telling us that we are really bad we unavoidably suffer. One of the many ways in which we suffer is anxiety.

The problem lies in that we adopt in an absolute way the words of others or our own internal words as who we are and so when we do that the new yet false identity that we have adopted is taken to be an overall, condemning, damning and inescapable statement of who we are. 

When we feel that unavoidable, condemning, damning, no way out, will be forever thought we feel anxious. We feel anxious because we conclude in our mind that being like that is to never be happy and to always be in pain or either it means the things will change and those changes will bring pain to our life.

We have many bases in our life and when we perceive that some bases or points of psychological support are being pulled out from underneath us we suffer by feeling anxious. The point with these bases is that they are psychological and they are used by us to feel that we are good or worthy or that we can feel happy, or at peace because we are doing well in life or that we are doing the right thing. We have the thought that if we are liked, loved and appreciated by others we are doing the right thing in life and so we can relax, and be happy and proud of ourselves.

Conclusion

We feel anxious because we feel that something is going to end or die and the problem is that psychologically speaking we have assumed ourselves to be that very thing that is going to die or end. From there comes the anxiety.

We also feel anxious because if that thing does end we don’t think we will be able to cope with it ending or being finished.

End (181).