The blunt answer is via the ego or via the essence.
The essence sees another over a wider range provoking many feelings from just normal to respect, to gratitude, to appreciation, to kindness, to compassion, to love etc.
The ego on the other hand has a precisely dual perception.
We may see someone agreeable and nice and then after an ego happens we see them ugly and nasty. But they are the same.
I really try not to believe the illusion that the ego projects making another person seem sharp nosed, hawk eyed, thorn tongued, nasty and just plain old difficult.
It is an illusion, which after all can be broken in seconds. The other person gives you a hug and then the thick smoke of illusion has been swept away and they are agreeable and nice again.
End (3544).
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