We may have nice feelings towards people. Tender feelings even. We get angry and we go to hurt them. Of course they can get hurt and do get hurt, but what is going on inside of ourselves? This is well worth investigating...
We are hurting the tender feelings we have towards people and we enjoy harming those tender feelings, which are our own feelings. Those feelings are in us not in the other person or people. Other people happen not to see these feelings.
We are hurting something I would say that is noble within ourselves. We are hurting and destroying our own noble feelings and a part of ourselves enjoys that - it is like a kind of emotional masochism. Which comes from us enjoying emotional pain or finding that emotional pain is kind of fascinating.
We like pain due to punishing ourselves. We like to punish ourselves after having failed at something and failure hurts.
We like to hurt others but we don't want that things fail or get seriously hurt. Maybe we hurt our feelings by hurting others so that they do fail and we learn a lesson that gives us the force to stop hurting ourselves and others.
Basically we hurt others because we like to hurt our own tender and noble feelings.
Those who are sadistic are really those who like first hurting themselves.
We hurt others sadistically especially when we perceive there to be a weakness, that is where the other person's happiness seems dependent on the relationship going well.
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