Too Many Times
Too many times we pass through various life experiences, some difficult and unpleasant, some pleasant, some where we got it wrong, some where we got it right and so on... and because we don't meditate deeply on these life experiences we don't fix the learning of each life experience into our consciousness.
Because we don't fix the learning of each life experience into our consciousness we repeat these life experiences, make the same mistakes etc. But what is worse we don't extract from them the knowledge necessary to help ourselves in the dissolution of the ego. The ego stays alive all the same, when we could have given it a good hit instead, thus helping ourselves.
The karma and recurrence remain active and profound knowledge that when understand has the potential to free us from these recurrences lies there in waiting inside the and behind those life experiences.
To Meditate
To meditate deeply on these life experiences, is to investigate why they happened, why this and that person was involved, to understand the attitudes we had, the thoughts we had, the emotions, the actions we followed through with, the decisions we made, to see the small details, etc.
Master Samael said that he would take into his meditations the small details of his life's daily events. Because I guess that hidden behind the small details very profound truths to do with his life.
The knowledge, wisdom and understanding that we may so desperately want or require lies there latent inside the small details or our life experiences. We have to get this knowledge and understanding from our life experiences so that we don't have to go through them again, so that we can break the cycle, so that we can progress, so that we can dissolve the ego we are working on and so that we can avoid incurring in more karmic debt and complication.
End (1958).
I have trouble coming to any conclusion when I reflect on the events of the day. I will reflect on what happened, what it means, what will become of it, and what my intentions were both deliberately and subconsciously. But the mind seems to only offer me suggestions. "it could be this, or that, or the other" I never really KNOW what's going on, only a suspicion about what is probably the case based on what I've been told about the ego.
ReplyDeleteI can go through a long string of reasoning "oh, I ate that chocolate bar because of gluttony, but it was actually an emotional thing, I wanted to compensate for being emotionally exhausted today, which is more comfort and self consideration which may be a pride thing..."
But I still don't know what actual understanding I can obtain from doing this.
How can I improve my practise and extract certainty and comprehension from this exercise?