Introduction
As with every egoic reaction there are many levels of causes
and there is the intervention of not just one “I” but of two or more different
“I’s”.
In particular when getting angry due to being rejected there
is more to it than anger and there are more causes to it than the physical
series of events.
This post is an attempt to peel back some of the causes and
investigate the intervention of the some of the “I’s” that produce an angry
reaction when one is rejected.
Peeling Back the Causes
When there is anger at rejection there is always some kind of
initial surprise or a shock and an perception which becomes a feeling or
impression of unfairness. This is because in the beliefs and concepts that we
have in our background we are not expecting that.
Cause in Beliefs
Some of the beliefs and concepts that we have in our
background could be that “we are a special friend that ought to be always
treated with respect and consideration”, or that “we are innocent, good, we
give a lot and don’t deserve that”, or that “we should be always treated with
respect above what others feel” or that “simply because it is us”.
When we look closely at some of these concepts or beliefs we
can see some different “I’s” at work, principally pride, self-love and self-consideration.
Pride as Cause
In relation to pride, there seems to be a very controlling
attitude there. It is pride saying “how dare you be more than me and think,
feel and actually reject me, when I am meant not to be rejected ever, because I
am special and even more special that your own feelings of upset or anger or
pride etc.”.
That is the controlling nature of pride at work. But why
does pride need to control, when we control something, it is because there are
certain things that we want to avoid happening. For example, we need to control
a car so that it does not hit another car or run off the road. So pride needs
to control others making sure they do not reject us for some reason. Now we are
getting close to the deeper cause.
Behind Pride
Could it be that we are scared of feeling empty, alone, if
so we are really scared of our own selves and our own thoughts. We are scared
perhaps of working to find our Being amongst that vacuum of sad, alone,
abandoned feelings. Is that we are scared of not being able to deal with the
painful thoughts and emotions that will arise.
When we are really close to someone and dependent upon them,
we forget our Being and we forget to work. We start to believe that our
happiness, our fulfilment is there with them. This is all false. There is a
strange thing that develops when we are close to another we work much less and
start to dream, drift away from and forget our Being and create false bases. When
we are rejected we work more and create the true and real bases and are closer
to our Real Being.
None the less after seeing some of these causes we have to beg
our Divine Mother intensely to help dissolve that controlling pride because it
is the one that largely behind the anger.
Final Point
For rejection to be felt fully, we have to reject ourselves as
well. As soon as we feel rejected and we feel put aside we are in trouble with
a pending egoic reaction. So in other words when we reject ourselves we get
into trouble emotionally and physically speaking. We can be rejected by another
and even have to suffer the consequences like not visiting them any more but
the way we feel towards ourselves is different. Everything in us is intact and life
flows on and we must continue to flow with the direction that our life, our
work and our Being take us.
The above statement seems to be very ‘airy fairy’ but look
into it and see how you feel towards yourself when you are next rejected.
End (692).
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