Introduction
I find that deeply understanding this point can be of a great help in one's life. Why? Because many times even during the same day, we find ourselves feeling humiliated. Often feeling this way is a little to very painful, and further to this, feeling humiliated leads to the creation of resentment and later - hatred.
When Humiliated
What really happens to us when we feel humiliated?
We usually feel humiliated because of another person. It is always what another person says or does. Very rarely do we feel humiliated all by ourselves. The attempt to humiliate a person always occurs in front of other people. There is a reason for that.
We are usually humiliated in front of others due to the fact of image. When we are being humiliated the way people see us is affected. After humiliation we are usually seen as less in the eyes of others, because our errors have been exposed or we are treated in a very disrespectful and harsh way.
When people try to humiliate us they are really subconsciously trying that we feel bad about ourselves. By destroying our image in front of people it is hoped by the humiliators to make the poor humiliated person to lower his or her own self-image and thus feel bad about herself or himself. They subconsciously know that people all have their self-image not dependent upon themselves but dependent upon what others think and say about them.
It is only really the person that can lower their own self-image. No one else can do it for us. They can only apply pressure on us for us to affect our own self-image, they can't get inside pf our psychology and actually lower our self-image. It is us that does that and we actually decide to do that.
But what if we decided not to crash down in ourselves and to just be as we are, with possibly something to rectify (because we may have done something wrong)?
We Cave In
When we feel humiliated it is because someone is exerting a downward kind of psychological pressure on us, using either words or actions. That is all the people or the situation or the circumstances do. They just apply some pressure on us. However it is us that caves in on this pressure. The circumstances and the actions and words of people are a clearly visible trap and it is us that decide to jump into the trap.
We allow our psychology to cave in on itself. The right use of force within ourselves comes exactly into play at this point. One of the correct uses of our force is in these precise moments when we are about to allow ourselves to feel humiliated. We have to use a our force not to go against the person exerting that pressure but to use our inner force to hold up our psychology and to keep ourselves in balance. As soon as we are out of balance within ourselves we feel humiliated and then we will register a debt against the person, and it will be unavoidable that we exact revenge on them.
What Does it Mean to be Humiliated?
What does it mean to be humiliated? It means to be lower than another in a certain aspect. This is very relative. But the truth of it to ourselves we are the same, and we may even be higher than another person. It depends on our reference point. If our reference point is within ourselves we are the same and we are not going to feel lower and therefore humiliated. We are truly in reality not less or more. If our reference point is inside the pother person we are going to see ourselves through that other person and of course we are going to feel humiliated.
The key resides in consciously choosing the more correct reference point. he absence of pain is the correct indicator of the right reference point.
Lack of Self-Respect
To feel humiliated is a lack of self-respect. Even if we are at fault we don't need to allow our psychology to cave in on itself. This is because, to ourselves we are the same person and we can rectify. Feeling less or more is not part of rectifying and in the real sincere in-depth relationship with ourselves there is really no less or more. Because we are united with ourself. How can we feel less to ourselves or more to ourselves, when it is the same person trying to feel lesser or higher than itself? Can't be can it?
Breaking into a New Arena
When we understand this deeply, we break into a new internal state. Imagine that, a new understanding that does not allow you to feel humiliated. Of course some egos won;t like ti because they are so use to acting out on registered psychological debts that they don't know what to do and they protest saying that this and that in simply unfair and unjust etc. This understanding means a certain freedom from a chain of internal and external events and dramas.
End (5287).
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